Thursday, June 30, 2005


My friend Aziyade -- who serves as conclusive proof, if any were needed, that a person can be smart, funny, talented, gorgeous, and completely insane all at once -- has formed a tribe for me on

Don't think the appeal of being worshipped as a god hasn't occurred to me. Normally my friends are all like "Richard, you're so understanding and sympathetic" and "Richard, you're a decent writer" and "Richard, you make me chuckle on occasion" as if that's supposed to help. Nothing personal, mom! I appreciate the kind words. But the fact is, my self-esteem issues are so intractable that nothing short of total adulation and worship will really make a dent. And in this respect, frankly, my friends have fallen short all too often. Maybe this is a turning point and things are about to change. About time!

I know it won't happen all at once. Maybe you'll be watching the news and thinking "I bet this wouldn't happen if Richard were in charge!" Maybe you'll be faced with a dilemma and take a moment to ask yourself "What Would Richard Do?" Or maybe you'll be getting dressed in the morning and wonder "What can I wear that Richard will like?" For the record: I find casual, comfortable, loose-fitting clothes to be extemely sexy. But I don't want to lay too many rules on you all at once.

In the long run, I know I'm looking at increased popularity, more views of my Tribe page and blog, more people wondering "who is this fascinating RAB and how can I get to know him?" and perhaps even an invitation to join the Tribe 25. Beyond that, a new lifestyle of unbridled sensuality. My chela knows a lot of bellydancers, so I will expect a harem before long. But hey, a nonsexist equal opportunity harem; it'll have some hot guys in it so that my straight female and gay male followers can get some eye candy too. That's the kind of deity I am.

Now, I've already told Aziyade I cannot myself join this tribe in good conscience. Not until she gets a few more members. From there, I leave the matter to your individual consciences. I am a compassionate god.

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